A gorgeous piece. 💗 I feel this so much. I was so shocked that people said horrible things to me about my two Autistic boys. It took years for me to know how to answer. Now I just wish them well and say bye. 🙅🏻♀️ No energy left to give those type of people. Love this post. 🙏🏼
I am not at all the parent I thought I would be. That rule book went out the window within weeks of #1 being born.
Having two more in less than 3 yrs after #1 was born made it even more challenging (#2 and #3 were born January and December the same year). Rather than having to explain why the younger two had rules while the oldest didn’t, we decided to go with the philosophy of, “We’re not raising children; we’re raising adults,” and disciplined the kids accordingly rather than having hard and fast rules.
But I’m so glad we decided not to stop after #1. 2 and 3 swear they weren’t traumatized by the drama that came along with having an autistic brother, but I still feel guilty. I still remember when #3 was 3yo and had a fight with her best friend at school. She was sobbing, and I literally had to peel her off my body because #1 was upstairs banging his head against the bathtub. She says she doesn’t remember, but I’ll never forget.
I’m grateful that I’ve learned to accept #1 for who he is. I’m glad I now believe him when he says he doesn’t want friends. I’m grateful that he’s comfortable telling us when he’s done talking, especially on days he works.
And I’m grateful that #2 and #3 are happy, healthy teens who, even if they don’t remember the rough years, grew up with compassion and insight they might not have developed otherwise.
A gorgeous piece. 💗 I feel this so much. I was so shocked that people said horrible things to me about my two Autistic boys. It took years for me to know how to answer. Now I just wish them well and say bye. 🙅🏻♀️ No energy left to give those type of people. Love this post. 🙏🏼
I am not at all the parent I thought I would be. That rule book went out the window within weeks of #1 being born.
Having two more in less than 3 yrs after #1 was born made it even more challenging (#2 and #3 were born January and December the same year). Rather than having to explain why the younger two had rules while the oldest didn’t, we decided to go with the philosophy of, “We’re not raising children; we’re raising adults,” and disciplined the kids accordingly rather than having hard and fast rules.
But I’m so glad we decided not to stop after #1. 2 and 3 swear they weren’t traumatized by the drama that came along with having an autistic brother, but I still feel guilty. I still remember when #3 was 3yo and had a fight with her best friend at school. She was sobbing, and I literally had to peel her off my body because #1 was upstairs banging his head against the bathtub. She says she doesn’t remember, but I’ll never forget.
I’m grateful that I’ve learned to accept #1 for who he is. I’m glad I now believe him when he says he doesn’t want friends. I’m grateful that he’s comfortable telling us when he’s done talking, especially on days he works.
And I’m grateful that #2 and #3 are happy, healthy teens who, even if they don’t remember the rough years, grew up with compassion and insight they might not have developed otherwise.
“You think you'll be prepared. That you'll come back with some witty, snappy comment. Only, you probably won't.” This. 😢
You speak for so many of us, Kate. Beautifully written. Thanks.