People find me in a variety of ways. Most often it’s through Facebook or Instagram. Sometimes a post of mine is shared with a friend of a friend. Other times, I hear about how a person found me at their lowest point. And they often point to this video.
During my hardest days, the ones where I didn’t feel strong enough, I filmed this video. When all was said and done, it racked up over 30 million collective views and it even made its way to The Today Show. It was incredibly polarizing. And it brought so much good into my life. And some bad too.
We had taken Cooper to go see Elmo at the Mall of America, an event that we had been invited to through my job.
I was nervous about it. Really nervous. I knew there would be lines and waiting. I was scared. When it was over, I shared a video about the experience. And I cried in my car. But it was more than that. I let myself accept the realities of my son’s disability. And I shared it with the world. Truly thinking that no one would care or even watch it.
As I’ve gotten more into advocacy, and sharing our secret world, it seems like people don’t want to hear about our realities. If I say autism is hard, I’m whining. If I say I worry about my autistic son, then I’ve lost hope. If I share our normal, I get called negative. And heaven forbid I talk about self-injuring or aggressive behaviors or lifelong care. Then I’m a monster.
Only talking about the positives of autism or parenting or motherhood in general isn’t real. It’s called toxic positivity and to me it’s doing a disservice. It’s important for me to educate and advocate but just as important to not sugarcoat the struggles.
This video changed my life because it allowed me to expose my vulnerabilities and be real. I don’t regret it. Because it was real and honest.
Take a watch. I hope it touches you. Feel free to share if it does.
And remember, you can read our whole story in my book, Forever Boy.
You can also upgrade and become a subscriber to this newsletter. Every Tuesday, I share a Topic Tuesday video on a specific topic. One that we did or still struggle with. Past topics include medication, marriage, aggression, sleep, siblings, anxiety, etc.
Tomorrow’s video will be an interview with Leasa of CodySpeaks on transition to young adulthood. Subscribe to watch!
Thank you all for being here!
Kate
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