What I Wish I Had Known When My Child Was First Diagnosed with Autism

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What I Wish I Had Known When My Child Was First Diagnosed with Autism

To not always believe what the professionals told me.

That no one has a crystal ball about his future.

That what I am feeling is grief. And grief is love. And to learn more about living with grief because it will help me heal.

To let go of the guilt.

To focus on self-care earlier. And my marriage. And my other children.

To make finding peace a priority.

To not judge my beginnings so harshly.

To focus on the good more, even when it is hardest to find.

To stand up for myself sooner.

To realize that the child I have right now is not the child I will have a year from now.

To acknowledge that the goal is not to turn an autistic person into a non-autistic person. The goal is to help an autistic person who struggles, become an autistic person who has less struggles.

That very few people will understand our lives, and that I don’t have to defend our choices.

That the biggest critics and givers of advice, know nothing of our struggles.

To choose my battles carefully because my energy is not infinite.

That it’s not a race against time. Our kids are lifelong learners.

That I am learning too and to give myself some grace.

To let people go that don’t want to be in our life.

To not follow blindly when it comes to my son; We are on our own path.

That this can be a very lonely and isolating journey and to look for helpers.

To spend less time researching how to help my son and instead spend my time meeting him where he is at.

To make sure my other children have autonomy. And a safe space to ask questions and share.

That wanting to give up at times makes me human but refusing to do so makes me a parent.

That I will love this child more than I ever thought humanly possible.

That a diagnosis of autism affects each member of the family and often in different ways.

That I have a choice in how I react to this.

To share my story with others.

And finally, that I will have an absolutely beautiful and joyful life.

This diagnosis is not a tragedy. Yes, it is different than the life I imagined. And it will be wonderful.

I am the lucky one. Because I get the gift of loving this boy.

Thank you for being here with me on this journey. Go give me a follow on Facebook for more from our family.

Have you met my friend Adrian Wood, one of the co-authors of my new book, Autism Out Loud? She’s hilarious. Take a listen as we chat about autism and travel. And give us both a follow on YouTube for new content!

Our amazing friends over at Bookshop are giving our followers 15% off preorders of our book until November 1!

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❤️ MARRIAGE ZOOM GATHERING HAPPENING THIS OCTOBER 23rd ❤️

Like many in this community, our bi-monthly Zoom gatherings boost my faith in humanity, as well as my own inner strength. Please join me this Wednesday morning for another Coop’s Troop gathering. Our topic will be a messy marriage with special guest, Jamie. This is a great opportunity to hear our story and ask questions. Paid subscribers will find the Zoom link and details below. If you are a free subscriber and would like to have the full community experience here at Finding Cooper’s Voice, simply upgrade your subscription. For the price of a coffee, you can experience lasting goodness and true connection.