To the parents who brought their adult autistic daughter to church on Christmas Eve...

Thank you.

To the parents who brought their adult autistic daughter to church tonight…

Thank you.

No, I really mean it. Thank you.

You helped me in a way that’s hard to even fully put into words.

My son Sawyer and I were waiting for the service to start when he first noticed your daughter.

We weren’t sitting by you. But he noticed your daughter immediately.

He pointed her out to me right away.

‘Mom! That girl. She’s happy like Cooper.’

From that second on we were drawn to her.

See, she felt like home to us.

And I missed my boy. I missed the rest of our family.

I had even shared a photo on my Instagram story prior that said…to the families who can’t go to church together…I see you…and I understand.

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We can’t do church as a family of six…not yet. And whenever I say or type those words, someone always challenges me. They criticize the church. Or our parenting. And it stings. So, I don’t talk about it a lot.

But it’s just too hard. Maybe someday though. That’s our goal. To never have to separate.

When the music started, Joy To The World, your daughter stood up, proudly and excitedly, and started dancing and flapping her arms in joy. And no one else was dancing.

It was amazing.

Sometimes you would sit her down. If she got too excited. But mostly you let her dance.

I began to worry a bit, on my insides. Were the people around you frustrated? Did you care? Why can’t my son be in a pew?

At one point Sawyer got protective. As siblings to special needs children do.

‘Mom, what if people get mad at her. For dancing.’

And right there during Silent Night we spoke about awareness and acceptance. And how it’s hard when people stare at Cooper. We even hugged a bit.

Being autism adjacent bringing us closer.

When mass was over, I immediately made my way to you.

My son said… ‘don’t be weird mom.’ But I couldn’t help it.

‘Thank you for being here.’ That’s what I said to you. And I truly meant it. Seeing a family like ours in the wild meant everything to me.

And then I started crying. Happy, thankful tears.

I was overwhelmed with gratitude. And exhaustion. 13 years I’ve been doing this complicated, beautiful, misunderstood, often lonely life.

And then I saw you.

This is the thing with advocacy. We often think it’s big elaborate actions. But really…it’s everyday things.

Like going to church on Christmas Eve.

You asked where Cooper was, and we chatted for a while about how scared I am. How it’s still so hard.

You told me it gets easier. You told me to come back. Every Sunday at 11.

When we left, I wiped my tears. Sawyer held my hand. We walked out together. And I felt peace.

‘Maybe next year Cooper can come mom.’

I needed to see you. This has been the hardest Christmas of my life and I was struggling for clarity.

I just wanted to say thank you. Navigating this autism life is hard sometimes and I needed to see you. I needed it more than I can tell you.

This was the view when I pulled into the driveway tonight. I wanted to share it with you. This is my boy Cooper.

He waits for me. Always. In the window.

How lucky am I to have a person who loves me this much.

Love,

Kate

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UPCOMING EVENTS

Join parent and advocate Kate Swenson as she reflects on her family’s journey through an autism diagnosis, early intervention, and transition to school services, and the emotional toll these processes can take on a family. In this presentation she will discuss the transformation she made as not only a parent, but as a person, and the support that parents need from professionals, family members, and those within their community to help their family adjust to this new chapter of life.

5:30 pm: Community Dinner
6:15 pm: Presentation by Kate followed by a book signing and meet and greet.

Register with Lynn at lsheils@grandportage.com or 218-475-2234