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Progress over Perfection.
That’s a phrase I think about a lot. In the most challenging years of our son’s life, post autism diagnosis, it felt as if we were frozen in time.
Or moving backwards even. But never forward.
Our son was in pain, but we didn’t know why or what. He didn’t sleep or communicate. He hurt himself and us. He rarely smiled.
For years it seemed like he wasn’t made for this big, confusing world. And to top it off, the world didn’t seem to want him either.
But we didn’t give up on him. And we refused to let the world give up on him.
We didn’t demand perfection, but we did demand that he be seen and heard.
We just left the doctor. I sat in awe as I watched my son count to 30 with his fingers while the nurse took his pulse. He didn’t scream when she touched his skin. He didn’t run when she took his temperature.
He stood on the scale and for his height.
He smiled when the doctor asked where his heart was, proudly pointing to his chest. And high fiving me after when she told him good job.
The appointment was not perfect by anyone’s standards. There were struggles…trust me.
Very little is easy for him. But his progress…I am shocked. I am proud.
And no, there is no magic pill to fix his hard. There is no snapping fingers or even logic at times.
We just refused to give up on him. And we refused to let the world give up on him. We practice everything. We try. We go. We do. We fail. We learn. We fall down. We get up. We cry. We cheer.
I know it sounds exhausting. And it is most of the time. And not just for us, for him too.
But he deserves to be in this world too. To experience the joy and the wonder that is out there.
Cooper is doing things at 14 that I never thought possible. To the world around us, it may not look like much. But he has come so far. And I know we aren’t finished yet.
Progress over perfection folks.
Crawl if you have too. But never stop moving.
Keep believing in the possibilities.





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Sometimes when I read your posts I feel as if we are walking right alongside each other. Progress over perfection….its our motto. Crawl if you have to but never stop moving. Yup!!! I feel that 100%. We went to the dentist today. My anxiety was high, I was ready with my armour on. We got there, he sat, he rocked, he waited for his name to be called. He followed the hygienist when she called for him, went in the chair, was ok when they lowered the chair back, put sunglasses on 😳, and let the dentist look in his mouth with the little mirror. That’s as far as we got before he started to show signed of agitation. But hey, it is also the furthest we have ever gotten at the dentist. Progress not perfection.
Thanks for sharing this Kate. I really do feel like we are in this together.
Cooper’s improvements have come so far it’s hard to remember how it used to be🥰 He is truly amazing and so are you Kate. What you have done for the world of autism and the families of autistic children is remarkable. ❤️❤️