Parenting this Boy has Changed Me
Joy and Grief intertwined.
Dear Readers,
If I’ve learned one thing on this parenting autism journey it’s that more than one feeling can be true at a time. Sometimes even two or three.
It took me a while to figure that out. When I was younger, I felt like I was either happy or sad or mad. Not a mixture.
Parenting this boy changed all that for me. It’s a culmination of emotions. It’s everything all at once. It’s happy and sad and scared and worried. All mixed together. I used to try and block out the different feelings. Guilt creeping in.
No more. Now I feel each one. The joy. The hope. The worry. The anger. I let them wash over me.
Some are stronger. Some grab my hand and sit with me for a bit. Some are just a breath. None are wrong. All are right.
A few weeks back my fifteen-year-old boy started summer school. It’s called ESY and it’s a summer for program for kids with disabilities.
As I sat there with him waiting for the bus, I’m felt all the feelings.
Joy that he was so excited.
Worry that the team won’t understand him or help him open his new water bottle.
Grief that at 15 years old he still needs his name written on a name tag and placed on his back.
Anger at the hand he’s been dealt.
Gratitude that schools recognize that parents and kids like us need this break.
Hope that it goes well.
And a silent prayer that he is delivered back to me safely.
It’s so complicated. It truly is.
It’s so much more than just a diagnosis. It’s a whole world. It’s a family. It’s a lifetime. And yet, it’s just a boy.
A silly, happy, wonderfully complicated boy.
Joy and grief. Those are the two that I feel the most.
Thoughts on this post? Leave a comment.
Love,
Kate
We Visited Thomas the Train in Illinois!
The Description for my New Book.
What do you think? I love it!
Caring for a child with autism can be filled with love and purpose—but also isolation, exhaustion, and the fear that no one truly sees how hard it is. In this heartfelt and practical guide, Kate Swenson offers invaluable firsthand perspective and concrete advice for the challenges many caregivers are left to face on their own.
Drawing on research, advocacy, and her lived experience as the mother of an autistic son, Swenson tackles the question so many caregivers ask: How do I care for my child without losing myself? With honesty and compassion, she helps readers navigate the emotional realities of caregiving while providing tools to help process your emotions, prepare for the future, and take meaningful steps forward. Inside these pages, you will find guidance and reflection around some of the biggest parts of caregiving, including:
Understanding and navigating diagnosis
Finding, obtaining, and maintaining services and supports
Advocating for your child
Processing emotions and prioritizing your own well-being
Building a sustainable and joyful life for your family
Planning for your child’s future financially
Obtaining guardianship, housing, and independence for your child
With clear advice and hard-won wisdom, Raising Autism demystifies the complexities of caregiving and offers support, guidance and a place to begin. The autism journey may not always be easy, but you do not have to walk it alone.
Thank you!
Upcoming Events
Come swim with us on August 23rd at Hastings Family Aquatic Center. This is a great opportunity for your kiddos have some fun and to meet other local families!
Join me in Ohio on August 22nd!
You matter, and that’s why this event is for you.
Caregiving asks so much of you—emotionally, physically, and mentally. Each day it’s about you going the extra mile……
And most days, there isn’t space to stop and be poured into.
This event was created with you in mind. Not as another obligation, but as a place to pause, connect, and breathe.
You don’t have to hold it all together here.
You care for everyone, let us care for you!
Tickets now available, we hope to see you there!
Have you heard of the National Railroad Museum in Green Bay Wisconsin? I think Cooper would enjoy it.🙂