Half My Sky - A Must Read by my Friend Carrie Cariello
A story of marriage, of redemption, of loss, of hope
My dear friend Carrie Cariello from What Color is Monday wrote a book called Half My Sky: Autism, Marriage, and the Messiness That Is Building a Family. And today is her publication day! In the world of writing books…it’s a very big day!
I have called Carrie a friend for many years. I found her writing in my loneliest times and felt so much comfort from her words.
You need this book. Whether you have autism in your life or not. It’s that good.
Carrie wrote a little message for you below…
My name is Carrie.
I am married to a man named Joe.
We have five kids. Our second son Jack is diagnosed with autism.
My story is not a new story. For the longest time, I thought it was about a boy. Now, I am less sure. Like a wildflower reaching through the cracks in a sidewalk, it has blossomed into something tender and unexpected.
It is a story of marriage, of redemption, of loss, of hope.
It is a story of pushing back against the parenthesis autism imposes.
We did that.
He did that.
Half My Sky. I wrote this book while my dog slept beside me.
As I typed, I realized.
The world has much to learn.
So does this boy Jack.
Can each learn in time?
My worry runs so deep, it’s as though it’s hardly there at all.
I believe in him.
I believe in second chances and smiles of goodwill.
I believe because I have to believe. I have no other choice.
I have no other choice because one day I will die. And as much as this idea stops me in my tracks, it is true.
This is me, small and afraid.
For now, I live bravely.
Bravely, I live.
I have no choice but to look to the sky and see sun instead of storms.
I hear notes of music and listen for birds gone free.
I smell incoming winter. The leaves are dying, floating, drifting, landing. Yet come springtime the branches will be green with newness.
Newness. This is the light to which I hold tightly.
These are the things that keep the very birds in the sky.
Good writing helps you see a piece of yourself inside my story.
Great writing changes - however infinitesimally - how you live your own.
Though I have no expectations of where I fall on this scale of words to page, I hope you may take something from the sentences I’ve cobbled together here, in this book. I deliver them to you from the very bottom of my heart.
-Carrie
I like the flower sprouting through the cracks in the sidewalk analogy. The beauty of the flower is obvious, but what does the sidewalk represent? I think the answer is less obvious here.
Most will assure the sidewalk is the problem of autism, but I don't feel that is right. Autism isn't a problem. To me the sidewalk represents the faulty perception of autism being a problem. The sidewalk is the negative beliefs everyone shares about autism including parents, family, friends, Autism support groups, society as a whole. Far too many people believe autism itself is the problem, and far too few recognize that our acceptance of autism is the real problem.
My son was always a beautiful flower. My failure to accept him as he was acted as the sidewalk choking the life out of him. I was not alone in my failure. I was aided by everyone around me in failing him.
When my heart finally opened and I accepted him exactly as he is and didn't want him to be any different, the sidewalk cracked, and he truly blossomed.
The analogy of the flower through the cracks growing into something new is so beautiful... and so accurate to someone living with autism in their family like me. I'm adding this book to my always-growing list. I'd love to write about it on my FSF here.