Figuring Out Autism Together

Plus, 28 days until Autism Out Loud is released!

My son,

Today was one of those days.

One where you seemed confused by the world. One where I didn’t know how to help. Or fix it.

Autism.

Woven into everything you do. Into the way you think and see and react.

Only I can’t see what you see. Or hear what you hear. Or feel what you feel.

Today, I felt confused.

Much like any parent does I suppose. I know your brothers and sister confuse me daily too.

But with you, the stakes feel a bit higher. The rules a bit more confusing.

Fourteen years in and I like to say we both settled into autism.

You have your own beautiful ways of communicating. And sharing your color with the world.

You keep me on my toes. Ever changing. Ever amazing.

And I am your constant. Walking alongside you everywhere we go. Holding hands. Taking our time. Not allowing anyone to rush us.

Often communicating for you. Encouraging. Knowing that you are more. And demanding the world know the same.

You are you. And I am so proud of you Cooper.

But today. Today was hard. One of those afternoons that reminds me that autism touches so many parts of you. And always will.

I felt like a stranger peeking into your world. Expected to know what to do and say. But not understanding why. People looking to me to make it make sense. Only I couldn’t.

Why you react the way you do.

The silly. The impulsivity. The intensity.

We had some of the parts of disability that I don’t talk about very often.

After, when it was over, I felt exhausted.

You came to me with your speech device.

Three buttons were pressed.

I. Am. Sorry.

You looked at me. Eyes big. Cheeks still flushed.

I. Am. Sorry.

I. Am. Sorry.

The robot voice echoing.

And then that smile. The best one.

I felt sad. That the world is so confusing for you. And that as your mom, I don’t always understand.

‘I am sorry too buddy,’ I said.

I don’t always understand autism. I probably never will. And I am guessing my son will probably never fully understand this world either.

But together. We are figuring it out.

And that’s something.

A promise to figure it out together.

Listen up friends!

Twenty-eight. That’s the number of days until Autism Out Loud will be released. OH, MY GOODNESS! I can’t believe it’s almost here!

There are still tickets available, although not many, for our book launch party in Stillwater, Minnesota on March 31st. Yesterday, I toured the venue and picked out the food. I can’t even tell you how surreal it felt. This book was a dream a year ago. Now it’s soon to be a reality. Come celebrate with us! Carrie and Adrian will be flying to join us!

Get your copy here:

There are also other ways to support us.

Share our book on social media. It’s so simple but it goes a long way. Request the book from your local library or bookstore. Often, you can just do this online. Are you a Goodreads person? If yes, please find our book and click ‘want to read’. And lastly, come to one of our events!

We would LOVE to see you!

Thank you to each and every one of you who is supporting us. This book is going to change the world. I know it!

Kate