Autism Will Not Be Looked at as a Burden in our Home

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Many years ago, when I was new to the world of parenting a child with a disability, and even newer to sharing our story with the world, a young woman sent me an email about her life.

She shared with me that she needed help to live and to bathe and to eat. She said she had physical disabilities and was unable to care for herself independently.

She told me she felt like a burden to her family. She felt saddened that she made their life harder. She spoke of her parents and siblings specifically. She said she felt more like a job to them than part of the family.

Now, I knew nothing of this woman’s life. I didn’t know her or her parents or her siblings.

But her email changed me. Full stop.

And then a pivot. Right then and there I changed the way I spoke, the way I thought, and the way I acted about my son.

And autism. And his disability.

I do not want my son to ever think he is a burden on our family. Never. And I do not want his siblings to feel that way either.

Now, this is tricky stuff. This parenting differently abled humans. It’s not always easy. Quite often, it feels confusing and leaves me wanting more.

But a burden, no.

My son Cooper, the older brother, the one who loves trains and dancing before 4 am, has never once been a burden to me or anyone else in this family. And I can’t imagine him ever thinking that. I would never forgive myself.

Cooper has taught each of us so many lessons. He has taught us joy, laughter, patience, hope and resilience.

I would even say he is the glue that holds our family together. He is our home base. Our constant.

I think about that young woman from the email often. I did my best to reassure her that no mother could ever think their child was a burden. I don’t know if it worked. I never heard from her again. I can only hope she is as loved as these boys. I think about her parents too.

Goodness this is tricky stuff.

I just try to keep love at the center. That’s all we can do.

Roughly 105 days ago, I attended the More Than Project's retreat for moms of kids with disabilities. It's the highlight of my year because I get to spend time with the most amazing, wonderful, brave moms.

But then something changed. See roughly 105 days ago, our worlds didn't involve the word cancer, brain tumor, inoperable, PICU, radiation, chemo etc. Now they do.

As many of you know, two of my dear friends, Amanda and Kris, have children who are fighting the unthinkable and unimaginable. First Dexter. Then Monroe. In a way it feels like the world has stopped spinning. But these two kids have the most amazing families. And followers. And many of you have asked how we can support them.

Our dear friend Lauren of Little Rebels with a Cause is hosting a fundraiser where 10% of her sales will go to support Amanda and Kris and their families. If you haven't seen Little Rebels wear you need too. It's the best.

They have tees, hoodies, hats, bags, candles, and water bottles that start conversations around differences, create inclusions, and make the world a better place. And they are so cute too! I added some of my favorites to the photos.

Use the code MORETHAN for 10% off.

These are a few of my favorites!

Join me for a zoom this Saturday (TOMORROW), January 11th at 5 pm central, for our first subscriber zoom of 2025! Be brave and join us. Let’s chat! To join the zoom, you will need to become a paid subscriber by clicking this link:

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