At Least You Have Your Other Kids
“At least you have your other kids,” the comment read. “Be grateful for them.”
This was not the first time I’d received this type of scolding, nor would it be the last. The comments eventually evolve into conversation about how having a typically developing a child should somehow erase the grief of having one who isn’t. These comments make me sweat and feel like I’m walking through a minefield.
I know how lucky I am. Truly. But can one or three children developing typically make up for one who is not? The answer is no. But the reality is, they can ease the sting.
Raising three neurotypical children alongside a brother with a disability fills my heart with joy while simultaneously crushing it, reminding me that autism life is often a double edged sword. A constant contradiction of joy and grief, both coexisting and intertwined. Neither wrong.
This is an excerpt from the sibling chapter in my new book. It’s my favorite chapter I think.
I often say autism is a family diagnosis and I don’t mean genetically. I mean autism affects every member of my family differently. And talking about it is a must.
If you are raising siblings alongside an autism diagnosis, I’m sure you’ve longed for a manual. A guide of sorts to what to do.
Autism Out Loud is the closest I’ve seen. Carrie, Adrian, and I share openly and honestly about being the bridge between two worlds, neurotypical and neurodiverse.
I’m so proud of this book. It’s going to change the world.
-Kate
Yesterday morning I had the honor of being interviewed by Fox 9 Good Day.
I’m headed to Pennsylvania on my birthday to present in Erie. I will be sharing my presentation, Finding Joy in the Secret World of Autism, and will have signed copies of both my books available for purchase!
Get your tickets here: https://www.lakeshorecs.org/event/autism-acceptance-day/
Thank you all for your love and support on this wild ride. ❤️❤️
Yes, I've been told that exact same thing - but I also know, many times people aren't trying to be offensive, but rather have good intentions (sometimes!). Being pregnant often brings equally crazy statements and comments, not to mention you're now free game for a pat on the tummy......people come in all shapes and sizes, and smart and not so smart, but I hear you. On my worse days, I really felt hurt when someone would tell me "God gave you Robbie because He knew you could handle it". THAT stung, because I adopted my little FAE baby out of foster care, then the next statement would be "God doesn't make mistakes." Often, it's challenging to shore up the dichotomy in comments. Same strange comment akin to if you have skin cancer - someone will say, "at least you don't have brain cancer." WHAT? We live in a crazy world. You're the best, Kate, and you're an absolute blessing to this planet. Keep going!
Great interview Kate! Look like you had a good time, so relaxed. Can I trouble you to get the link for the NC book store? I’d gladly purchase another book with all six of you signed. 😊