Advice for Parents of Special Needs Kiddos on Halloween

Give yourself grace on days like these.

Today can be one of those days that can cause parents of children with special needs to take pause.

To lose their breath for a second.

To take notice of differences.

To even feel slighted.

Halloween.

For me, in those early years post diagnosis, I took comfort living in our own comfortable bubble. But days like Halloween, pulled us out.

And pushed us away at the same time.

We were not like the other families. We still are not. And that can sting sharply or even in a dull way, depending on where you are in your journey.

There will be no shortage of advice on the internet today from parents like you and me.

Some will scold you for feeling slighted.

Some will understand and wrap you in a virtual hug.

Others will give you advice or even tell you not to care.

Me, well, I’ll tell ya this.

Give yourself grace on these big holidays. Your kiddo may refuse to wear a costume or leave the house.

Or at age 9, after experiencing it all in the years before, they may willingly agree to go to 4 houses, not 5, but 4, and even clap when you talk about their costume.

At age 10 we trick-or-treated a day early.

And now at age 11, he picked out his own costume for the first time.

Santa Clause. No beard though. That’s far too itchy.

Time, it has a way of moving us along friends.

Our evening won’t look anything like our neighbors. We educate and we try. That’s the best we can do.

And I will feel. So will his dad. Whether it’s 3 seconds or an hour. And that’s allowed.

Grace my friends. Forget about everyone else. Focus on you and what you feel on days like today and most importantly doing what works for your child.

Celebrate what your family can do!

Find the joy anyway you can. And remember, you are doing the best you can in a complicated situation. No one should judge you for that.

Happy Halloween!

And good luck!

PS. I talk a lot about the pressure these days can put on us as parents in my book Forever Boy. Grab a copy. I promise you it will help you wheverer you are at in this journey.